I consider ego a central component to creating art. I also see the process of serving as a vessel and channelling a muse to be equally if not more powerful to creating art. There are works of theater, music, dance --a mixture of all, we like to call art, that grab a hold of something inside of me and rip, pull, massage, touch, awaken and energize while at the same time satiate and calm...agitate the space of nirvana that continues to elude, creaks open the door and dances with it... It gets underneath that back corner of that secret part of my spirit that rarely gets filled. That sounds dirty but I don't mean it to be.
And some art touches me in this way and it does not do the same thing for others. And that's beautiful too.
The other night my friend played me this music video Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn. The lyrics are poignant, yes, but the music video has so much more than that. When I try to dissect it and point to say, "that, that's what makes it magical", I can not. I can only reference back to the selfless ability to channel this artistic spirit. This spirit finds the artist but the artist also has to invite it. And the spirit visits only the most lucky of us. There is no real rhyme to it and I wonder if the artist in touch with it deserves some credit, but really very little. To commune with this spirit is dangerous. It requires great courage and humility.
But one must not only be open to it, one must also be prepared. One must be dedicated enough to learn the dance moves, to write down the music, to rent the space, to hang the lights, to practice again and again. To take another cut. To fail and ride the failure and let it be part of the art.
As I continue to create the Travelling Elmer Troupe clown piece with my fellow clown colleagues and explore and create the character Gultekin Ayshen Gulmeli Shey, I draw inspiration from Robyn's courage when she dances in this music video. I've probably listened to it twenty times in the past 48 hours and I think I'll listen to it again. And then...eventually...the music video will slowly stop holding that same power, for me....just fascinating...where does it go?
As a spectator and I am so grateful for Robyn's selflessness. As a performer I am so inspired.