Sunday, October 28, 2012


What a journey this school is on both artistic and social levels. One idea of the three circles of energy that I wrote about here has really been blowing my mind lately. As an actor, there is a demand on stage to constantly be in second circle in order to be ready and open. It is a state that the audience can receive most fully.

However when applying this theory to real life, I find that checking out and going into a first circle state where I am not receptive to others and just living in my own little bubble is a very common thing I do in public. I also find that I go into third circle where I get really stressed out and tense up and get really aggressive. When I do manage to find myself in second circle I often find myself  moving into third circle when I see others around me that I deem "out of it" "not in second circle."

I am coming to the see that I work to manipulate others energy constantly to pull out of what I see as first circle behavior or pull them away from what I see as third circle behavior. The act of manipulation itself is a very third circle act. It is painful and uncomfortable and doesn't even work. I ignore or belittle or ignore or chastise or tease people in order to "align their energy." It's mean and doesn't work. The only circle of energy that I have control over is my own. The act of working to change anyone elses energy just causes suffering in my own self. A sort of "I know better so I am going to teach you" attitude.

To be present and receptive to all peoples energies without any defense mechanism in place. Is. Super. Scary. And something I have not really tried much. I will be more conscious of this moving forward.

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