Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Being Seen

One of the most difficult things about performance is allowing oneself to be seen. There is a vulnerability mixed with an openness that requires immense courage. I have become increasingly conscious of my habit of turning inward during performance. It is a defense mechanism to avoid failure however the act of closing myself off is in and of itself failure. It requires a constant reminder at every performance juncture. To allow for the messy parts, the mistakes, the wrong notes, the screw ups. And the exaltations, the touch with creative spirit, the beauty, the magic that is working through me. To allow all of it to be seen. What an elusive thing. But to be able to be seen. Is a rare gift. For those witnessing. Staying present and open. Energy does not compensate for this. Sometimes an overdo in energy is just another defense mechanism to avoid being seen. Not moving is another defense mechanism. Making bold choices that can sometimes feel fake or contrived, and doing it from a place of honesty and vulnerability, is being seen. More of that please. 

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