It's been almost over one month since I left Blue Lake California and Dell'Arte.
I'm tongue tied.
Processing this experience overwhelms me.
I learned a lot about my body and my mind and my spirit.
I still have a lot to learn.
I miss my friends.
I'm glad I'm done.
I'm never going to be done.
When I started at the beginning of the year and was asked to share my goal for the year I said:
I hope to perfect the art of failure.
It's ironic I guess because I will never be able to perfect the art of failure.
I will inevitably continue to fail at failing.
I will continue to expect to be perfect and do perfect back walk overs.
And live in a perfect state of ease.
And write perfect blog posts.
And be perfectly funny with my physical gestures.
But I'll continually fail at all of these things.
And slowly as I keep doing them I will improve. I will fail and improve.
It won't be a circle though, it will be a spiral.
I will spiral outward. Upward, downward, inward, outward.
Ever moving, even in stillness.
Ever still, even in movement.
And constantly failing.
I am an artist.
That takes courage to say.